Types of Atheism

When I tell people that I don't believe in God, I'm usually asked whether I follow someone's teachings. Or if I belong to a certain political party, or if I'm a communist. Actually, I do not satisfy any of these criteria. I am an atheist because I cannot understand the miracles God(s) is supposed to have performed, or the answers to prayers devotees receive. For every answered prayer, there are thousands left unanswered, and for every life saved by a miracle, there are at least a thousand unnecessary, unjust, deaths.

Why do people assume that all atheists have something in common? Do atheists form a group, like the devotees of a certain God? I don't think so, because people become atheists for several reasons, as different and varied as the people are. However, an atheist usually fits one of the following types:

The Moderate Atheist: The vast majority of atheists – they mind their own business, try not to hurt other's feelings, and would like it if others do the same.

The Spiritual Atheist: One who does not believe in God, but believes in Spiritualism and Numinosity. If you know someone who goes into raptures at the sight of a beautiful idol, but does not believe in God, you know what a spiritual atheist is.

The 'Robin Hood' Atheist: Someone who is an atheist but uses the infrastructure provided by a religious institution to help humanity. In a sense, they rob the rich to serve the poor while acting against their conscience everyday.

The Militant Atheist: The supposed threat to humanity, though I doubt a single death can be attributed to them. Of course, no terrorist is religious, right?

The Forced Worshipper: One who is an atheist but is not free to speak the truth, maybe even on pain of death.

The Scared Atheist: One who does not believe for any reason except to escape Hell. Anyone who thinks Pascal's Wager makes sense, really!

Side-Effect Atheists: People who convert to atheism due to their love for a person, place or thing.

Mindless Atheists: Those who are atheists because their parent/parents do not believe in God, and not due to any self examination or thought, including asking their parents why they do not believe in God.

The Fluctuating Atheist: One who is an atheist for a year, a believer for a couple of years, again an atheist... This may be done knowingly, weighing current benefits over their personal beliefs and opinions, or simply because they have no opinion of their own.

The God-hater: Not an atheist at all, just hates God for something 'He' didn't provide. Selfishness personified!

The Escapist Atheist: One who uses atheism as an excuse to not have a conscience. These are hardened criminals – it doesn't matter what they use this excuse for.

The Hypocritical Atheist: One who proclaims to be an atheist while secretly believing in God. In some cases they are more vocal than true atheists. These people check the panjangam to do anything, even when there are no believers involved. Wearing a particular colour and consulting an astrologer while disparaging God – prime example.

The Religious Atheist: One who pretends to pray but does not have faith - for very selfish reasons. Corrupt priests in all religions are the perfect examples for this.